My Sacrifice
by thenoblehouseofblack
Summary: Remus and Sirius share a moment reconciling after Remus gets sacked and before Sirius goes back on the run.


**Disclaimer: If you wish you owned it, I do too.**

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**My Sacrifice**

_We've seen our share of ups and downs  
Oh how quickly life can turn around  
In an instant  
It feels so good to reunite  
Within yourself and within your mind  
Let's find peace there_

There had once been a time when Remus Lupin could walk over to his fireplace when he fancied a chat with someone, and transport himself to one of three places without hesitation, knowing he would have a warm welcome on the other side. There had once been a time when he had trusted others so wholeheartedly that he would have given his life for them. There had once been a time when he had been Moony of the Marauders. But that time had long passed.

For twelve years, he was alone. James was dead. He believed Peter was as well, and that Sirius was in Azkaban after betraying James. That had been the hardest to believe. Sure, Minerva and Albus and everyone was simply flabbergasted that Sirius Black had betrayed James Potter, but they had not witnessed their friendship like Remus had. He had seen firsthand the bond the two wizards had. He had seen them defy all forms of logic together. He had seen them become brothers. And to find out that it was because of Sirius, Sirius who had always detested the Dark Arts, who had turned his back on his Pureblood supremacy bigotry family, who had betrayed James to Voldemort was the lowest form of betrayal.

He had not wanted to believe it for a long time. But then, there had been a traitor. They knew it, though they did not know who it was. And after everything that happened, it was easily Sirius on whom the brunt of the blame fell.

But now he knew the truth. Now he knew that it was Peter who had betrayed James, who had turned his back on all of them. And Sirius was an innocent man who had spent 12 years in Azkaban for a crime he did not commit. Now it was Sirius Black who sat across from him at his dining room table.

"You should not have come here," Remus said quietly, taking a long sip of the firewhiskey he had poured for both of them.

"I had to."

"You should be long gone by now," Remus shook his head. "Flee out of the country, Sirius. It may be your only hope."

"You think me a coward?" Sirius cocked an eyebrow at his old friend. "You think I would leave my godson now, James and Lily's son, you think I would leave Harry here now that I've found him?"

"It's not safe for you here," he said. "If they find you…"

"They won't," Sirius rolled his eyes. "You forget how often we snuck out of school, and the monthly adventures we had. No one caught us then, no one will catch me now."

"That was Hogwarts, Sirius," Remus said gravely. "It was a whole different world, and you weren't a convicted fugitive at the time."

"I'm not leaving him, Remus."

Remus sighed and took another long drink. He poured them both another generous glass before speaking. "I know."

"He looks just like him. Exactly like him," Sirius looked down at his glass. "And the things he's done, James would have been proud. Dumbledore filled me in while I was waiting for the Kiss. Finding the Chamber of Secrets and killing the basilisk? We never even managed that."

Remus smiled. "He is quite honestly the best of us."

"I think he's more James as Head Boy than before though," Sirius said thoughtfully. "I watched him all year. He's a mix of me and seventh year James."

"Really? I find him more to be a mix of _Lily_ and seventh year James."

Sirius shrugged, unconcerned. "He's a mix of seventh year James and something." He sighed and stared intently at Remus. "I wonder how things would have turned out, you know? If we hadn't made the switch of secret keepers."

"You mean, would they still be alive?" Remus did not want to admit that this was the main reason he did not want Sirius here. As good as it was to see his old friend, he knew that after twelve years, long forgotten memories would pain him once again. "I don't know. Maybe he would have found them anyway."

"Come off it," Sirius rolled his eyes. "If I _had_ been secret keeper, no one, not even Voldemort himself would have gotten it out of me."

"And then maybe Voldemort would still be quite at large today," Remus reminded him.

"To have James and Lily back, that is a trade I would happily make," Sirius said quietly.

Remus thought about it. For James and Lily to be here, for Harry to have had his parents growing up, for Sirius to not have spent twelve long years in Azkaban, would he sacrifice the twelve long years of peace they had had when Voldemort was defeated? Would he be willing to sacrifice all the lives of his victims that would follow if Harry had not somehow stripped him of his powers and body all those years ago? The answer was rather simple. "Me too."

"It hurts to see him," Sirius said softly. "When I was watching him this year, when I saw photographs in the Daily Prophet, it physically hurts to see him."

"I know."

"He looks so much like him," he said. "Except for the eyes. He has-."

"Lily's eyes, yes," Remus smiled slightly.

They fell into a comfortable silence, one reminiscent of their camaraderie, something they had forgotten for so long. In this moment, they both remembered who they were. They remembered they were the Marauders, even now. They remembered the strength of their friendship, something that could not die with mere years. "Moony," Sirius said after a long moment. "Moony, I'm sorry. We should have told you. What you must have thought for all this years – I, I'm truly sorry."

Remus sighed. "I understand why you did what you did, Padoot. We all knew there was a traitor. And though I did not believe it for these past twelve years, I do believe now that you and James both knew you would never betray each other. So what else could you do? Turn to the person you'd think would be least likely to turn on us. After all, he had the least to gain, and the least to offer. Peter was always the weakest one. No one would have ever believed it was him."

"But we should have known it wasn't you," Sirius said firmly. "We should have trusted you. And I'm sorry. That is our biggest dishonor, that we lost faith in our friendship."

"No," Remus said quietly. He had thought about this a great deal since he had first seen Peter's name on the Marauder's Map. "I would have done the same thing. To protect them, I would have done exactly as you did. I was angry at first, when I found out what had happened when I saw Peter's name on the map, but now I understand. I'm not mad at you Sirius, believe me. And you should not be mad at yourself. James wouldn't be."

"You truly believe that?" he asked. "You believe James wouldn't blame me for what happened? It was my idea after all."

Remus's heart ached to see his friend in such pain. Sirius believed James would hate him now, would blame him for getting them killed, for making Harry an orphan. And that pain, for Sirius, was the hardest to bear. "Padfoot, listen to me," Remus said calmly. "James thought of you as his brother. He thought of you as family. And with family, you may get angry sometimes, you may fight, and cry, and scream. You may want to kill each other. But at the end of the day, you're still family. You still love each other. And James loved you, Sirius. He would not blame you now. I truly believe he would have understood. He would have never guessed either that it was Peter who betrayed us."

Sirius sighed, looking as if a huge burden had lifted from him. Remus could only imagine how much he had tormented himself with these thoughts for the last twelve years. "You know what hurts even more, Remus?"

"Hmm?"

"That James had to die knowing it was Peter who had betrayed him. I mean, can you imagine what James must have thought? Obviously it was Peter would had told Voldemort where to find them, he was their secret keeper. His last thoughts were knowing a man he had considered one of his best friends had betrayed him."

"And knowing James, that would have hurt him more than anything," Remus agreed quietly.

"Moony, I promise you, on Prongs, on Lily, on Harry, I promise Peter will pay for what he's done."

Remus thought for a moment if he should remind Sirius that James would not have wanted that. Even now, that Peter had betrayed them, James would not have wanted to extract revenge. To betray your friendships was an act of great dishonor to James, and it would have been even now. But then, he thought, James wasn't here anymore. And he wasn't here because of Peter Pettigrew. "Padfoot, I promise you, on Prongs, on Lily, on Harry, we will get him. For James, he will pay." And with that, the two last marauders clanked their glasses and finished their drinks.

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**The friendship the marauders shared, I believe, is one of the greatest ones in the entire series. For their friendship, Sirius Black spent twelve years in Azkaban with the knowledge that Peter had betrayed them. Remus spent the twelve years thinking it was Sirius, and believing himself to be alone. And from what I've deduced in the books, James would have been personally affronted if someone accused his friends, but had to know a man he had thought was one of his best friends had betrayed him, had sold not just him but his wife and child to Voldemort. And I know there isn't anything in the books about them reconciling besides in the Shrieking Shack in the third book for a bit, so I thought I'd write this as my take of Sirius and Remus's reconciling moment (since we KNOW there _had_ to be one :D)! **

**Anyways, hope you enjoyed this little one shot! Please review and let me know what you thought thanks :D**


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